Ken Williams was eight years old when he realized that he was different from the other boys in school who were into sports and roughhousing-typical boy stuff. The fact that he was unlike his male peers-Williams was sensitive and smaller in stature-made him stand out and prone to bullying by the others, who often called him "gay wad" and "shrimp." He also admitted not being "confident" win himself and his relationship with other boys, causing his father to enroll him in typical activities for boys, such as karate, soccer, baseball, and Boy Scouts.
Williams tried and failed to excel in any of those activities. Instead, he was interested in "deep conversations" and spending time with his mother and her friends, CBN News reported. At the tender age of eight, he was exposed to porn through a number of ways. He encountered porn through "a babysitter, a friend's parents' bedroom, and a box his friends found in a field, full of hardcore gay porn." He recounted how the encounters made him feel "so damaged," as it "awakened" something in himself that he could not explain. He admitted, "I felt so dirty."
But it was not until Williams was 17 when he acted on his feelings for other boys, starting physical relationships with them without telling anyone. He admitted that he desperately craved "attention and connection," even considering ending his life. But instead, he wrote a nine-page letter of "hate, vulgarity, and pain," which he then shared to his youth pastor, who "lovingly committed" to help the author by helping him tell his parents about his struggles.
Williams admitted that his parents responded with love, asking him if he wanted to live that kind of life. He replied that he "never wanted to live a gay life" and from then on worked with them for healing. He had undergone Christian counseling for five years, in which he realized that changing one's sexual desires is actually possible.
Now the author of "The Journey Out: How I Followed Jesus Away From Gay," Williams shared how his faith was impacted by his healing from a five-year gastric disorder that began in college. He believes in three facets of wholeness, namely vulnerability, surrender, and identity. He admitted that it was "terrifying" to be vulnerable enough so that other people can hurt a person. But vulnerability is a must to receive God's love.
"Those who also know that God's best plan for us is not to pursue homosexuality," Williams said. "The major barrier to the healing power of vulnerability is shame. Shame lies to us, telling us that we're not worthy of love because of what we've done."
But on the other side of that bridge of fear, discomfort, and vulnerability is "a life of increased intimacy with both God and people."
"The Journey Out" author is not alone in his path to helping others "follow Jesus away from gay." The Washington Post reported in 2019 that the ex-gay Christianity movement is coming back in a more "decentralized" way that is led by independent authors and leaders in the conservative Christian world as opposed to in the 1970's when it was built around ministries and organizations that specifically catered to the issue.
Williams recounts in his book "The Journey Out" how he "followed Jesus away from gay." In his website, he argues that gay pride may not heal the pain, but Jesus offers "real inner healing and intimate relationship." In his book, he demistifies homosexuality and gender identity issues and shares stories of transformation.
Williams is also the co-founder of two ministries in Bethel Church in Redding, California. He co-founded Equipped to Love, an organization that aims to "show the truth of Biblically-defined sexuality to the LGBTQ community," and the CHANGED Movement, a support group who have left their LGBTQ identities behind.
